Perfection
by starooo
Summary: Ruka Nogi and Hotaru Imai are both humans, trying to seek perfection in this imperfect world. In the end, they are forced to face the horrible truth; not everything could be happily ever afters. Just not them. RxH


**To Karla**

For being such a loving ass. Oh, and for being such a die-hard Ruka fan. It's getting a bit creepy though. But you're weird. It doesn't matter.

**Disclaimer**

I am just starooo, a poor teenage author. And all of this characters I portray are all of genuis Higuchi Tachibana-san's works. Let us praise her.

--

It had been three years since they had graduated.

And twelve years since they had met.

Ruka Nogi puffed out cold air mischievously and placed his hand into his pockets. It was cold, the first feel of the cold winds of the season. It wasn't snowing, nor was it stormy. It was just cold.

Chilly like how his world had turned out and how Mikan Sakura had came into his life just to warm it all up.

He wouldn't forget how life in the Academy was. Entertaining, memorable and excruciating. It was hard. To be a best friend, and at the same time, deceiving him by loving the person you were forbidden to love.

But that can't be helped. He didn't want to love her anyways. But he did. From the moment they met.

Until now, he had loved her.

Even though he knew they were engaged. That Mikan Sakura was deeply in love with Natsume Hyuuga.

He strolled around the same academy dormitory where he confessed to the nullifier. It was the same place, near the third bench, by the same broken post lamp. He laughed and stopped. In the moments that were painful to remember, he had found himself laughing so merrily about it.

Suddenly, Ruka Nogi didn't care anymore. He didn't give a damn that Mikan Sakura wasn't his. As long as she was happy, Mikan would always be in his heart as the girl who first pursued to get in it. Her smile was warm; he could remember her smile vividly. The smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Hotaru called from behind, rubbing her hands together. She walked, looking like a puffy ball, with her coat and tons of clothes under it against the cold. "Oh wait… I take that back, it's like I'd ever give you once cent for whatever junk you're thinking…. Anyways, what are you doing here?" Her walls were built high and mighty. Like the corporations and empires she had built from her inventions.

"That's my line." He laughed. "I'm here to see how well my animals are." He lied.

She knew him too well. "Idiot, they were served as the main course for our graduation. I can even remember the taste of the roast chicken." Hotaru teased. She patted Ruka's back mockingly. "I can see how you bred them well; your Alice is pretty handy after all…" She stopped when she noticed that the lad's attention was half-heartedly towards the blackmailing Imai. He was staring at the bench. It was where he had kicked it angrily after being rejected for his best friend.

"Ah, I get it. Being here makes you feel a tinge of nostalgia." She pointed a finger at him and moving it at the bench. "You're still not over her?" Hotaru questioned, her voice was colder than the winds. It looked like she was curious although the answer was completely obvious.

Ruka shook his head, his cheeks tinted rosy red. Either from the cold, or from what he had been thinking of.

"Sometimes, loving could be so painful. But you see, it's amazing to know that no matter how hard it is…" She trailed off. Her voice became softer than it was. "…loving someone is the simplest reason why you find yourself happy."

Ruka's train of thought was faltered as he looked at Hotaru. "Wow. Now _that _is a hallmark-worthy quote." He joked.

She glared daggers at the poor lad. "That was not even funny. Actually, that was a quote from Mikan. I was saving it for someone dumb enough to believe it." She smirked. The walls she built were visible once more. "Hm. I remember that on the same day you cried. And I was taking pictures for evidence on how much a cry-baby you are."

His cheeks flustered once more. "I'm not a cry-baby!" He protested. "You couldn't understand…. You would never understand what I've been through."

Hotaru looked at him, and suddenly, the walls that she tried building up fell. It tumbled down before Ruka's very eyes. And the Hotaru that only Mikan was able to see was there in front of him. She was the _real _Hotaru. Not the cold, calculating one.

This time… her eyes held significance of something precious.

"I do understand." She whispered, her eyes were admiring her Channel boots.

Ruka went closer to her and crunched his eyebrows in confusion. "How? Being able to fall in love with a person that likes someone. It hurts like hell, Imai. You couldn't understand that. Falling in love and even when you wanted to give up, you can't. Someone like Imai would never understand tha—"

A hard blow was slapped on his left face. Hotaru had sadness and anger on her eyes. Suddenly, it was not chilly anymore. And like an ordinary human being, tears fell from her eyes. "How naïve can you get?" She cried, a bit colder than before. It looked pathetic. Trying hard so much to be perfect. "I do understand…. Nogi, ask me who am I in love with all this time… A-ask me." She dared, her voice was angry and fiery against the cold.

Hotaru Imai was praised for being perfect. Hated for being bitter. Angered for being above everyone else. Shunned for being a prodigy. But to the eyes of the people who knew her, she was not Hotaru Imai, but Hotaru-chan. Nothing more but a dear friend. She was loved by these persons.

She tried hard to please everyone and built up walls no one could break. She didn't get the idea of mistakes, when she was one herself. Hotaru Imai didn't know anything but being the best.

Not until he came along.

"A-ask me, Nogi. Ask me." She whispered.

Ruka trembled, reaching out to her. But he couldn't, to his eyes, she was evil, she was a mortal rival, she couldn't be a friend. But in his heart, she was like them. A human being. She made mistakes too. He wanted to believe that he actually liked her.

Ruka chose to believe what he saw. Never did he once listen to his heart. It was always what it had been in front of him.

He looked at her in the eyes and for once that day, cleared his head for her answer. "Who?"

At long last, at that time when he was rejected, Hotaru knew, seeing Ruka so heartbroken… she finally understood what her purpose was. She was not supposed to be perfect. Even well-liked people get rejected and get hurt. Sometimes, it is our fault why we let ourselves be broken.

Hotaru chose to believe that being with him, doing the things he hated, just to see the reactions he makes, made her realize some things.

She finally realizes that nothing is really broken at all.

"You."

Ruka Nogi had been in Hotaru's heart all along. No wonder whenever he was lonely she was always there to turn the situation around.

She made him forget Mikan Sakura.

If only he had seen it. If only he had seen who Hotaru Imai really was earlier than falling in love with Mikan Sakura.

"Me?" He pulled her close and smiled at broken lamppost before him. "Me." He whispered, to confirm it discreetly to himself. He thought bearing hurt for the person you love is good, but really painful. But regretting something you should've done was more painful that bearing something you knew you could forget.

"Yes, idiot." She stopped, leaning her head on Ruka's shoulder. "You."

But it can't happen. They were surrounded by what ifs, maybes, and broken promises.

"It's too late now, Imai." He whispered.

She closed her eyes. She had it all prepared. Being rejected. Maybe, if she had bore herself to Ruka earlier it would've been better.

They wouldn't have to be trying-hard to look perfect.

"I know." She paused. And then smiled, tears were flowing on her cheeks; she didn't even care to wash it off. She was still in his arms. It was her safe harbour. "But I still wanted to, all this years."

They both knew that it was impossible to achieve perfection. But they tried so hard, only to find out in the end, no matter how good-looking and successful they may seem, they were always, and will be, humans.

Humans are not perfect. But it can be possible if you achieve perfection through flaws and accepting the outcome no matter how hurtful it can be.

Like Ruka Nogi and Hotaru Imai. They were both humans, trying to seek perfection in this human world. In the end, they are forced to face the horrible truth.

That not everything could be happily ever afters.

Just not them.

--

I cried inside my heart…. Very deep down inside.

To those people who disagree with how I portray Hotaru Imai, it's okay to be discontented, but Hotaru can't always be superhuman. She can't always be cold.

I wanted to show to my readers how human Hotaru is and how cute Ho-chan and Ruru-chan could've been as a couple. Oh, and by the way, I am not on hiatus and I am obviously not yet dead. I will be... just very, very, very soon. Hopefully. I will continue writing for GA, so please stay tuned for my upcoming works.

Thank you for your endless support, guys.

With love,

starooo :D


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